Ranking The NFL x Champion x Disney Collaboration

With the NFL season fast approaching, Disney dropped a collaboration that merged two of America’s most beloved pastimes: football and going to a Disney theme park. In collaboration with Champion, the Disney NFL collection includes all 32 clubs as they link up with a classic character from Disney, Star Wars, and Marvel. Unlike the classic Looney Tunes sports shirts of the 1990s where Taz was a fan of the Kansas City Chiefs, Orlando Magic, Seattle Mariners, and the New York Rangers at the same time, Disney’s NFL collection is a little more considered as they try to connect each character to the team’s legacy.

Reaction to the collaboration has been met with shock as fans tried to process what Disney was trying to say with each pairing. While some were immediate fits from first glance, there were also a number of mash-ups that could have used more time in the proverbial oven, and some that might be a clever troll. Our Disney x NFL Power Rankings are here to separate the basement dwellers from the legitimate contenders.

Tanking For A High Draft Pick (aka Character Assassination Division)

32. New York Jets (Buzz Lightyear)

Buzz Lightyear is a defining character for a generation of 90s kids who grew up in awe of the magic of computer animation. Voiced by Tim Allen, Buzz has had the most progression in the Toy Story franchise, evolving from a delusional space ranger who believed he could fly to a self-aware best friend who understands his purpose as a leader of toys. Pairing him with the New York Jets is the equivalent of Buzz learning nothing and teaming up with Zurg. A better alternative for the Jets would have been characters from 2013’s Planes, which starred Dane Cook. In other words, a perfect fit.

31. Cleveland Browns (Pluto)

Sadly, picking Goofy at this very moment in the Browns’ history would have been too on the nose. By going with Pluto, however, it opens up the “why does Goofy stand up and talk, and Pluto acts like a dog when they are both technically dogs?” debate again.

It’s A Rebuilding Year (aka Tangential Connections At Beast Best Division)

30. Atlanta Falcons (Millennium Falcon)

There is no obvious or obscure reason to connect Star Wars to the Atlanta Falcons other than sharing the name of the most iconic vehicle in the franchise, but that’s probably the entirety of the thought that went into the pairing. Another Falcon that could have received the honor was Sam Wilson, but there might be confusion in the marketplace if he’s also wearing his Captain America suit along with Steve Rogers, not to mention the wild optics of both Caps being opposing sides of a Falcons-Patriots pairing.

29. Tennessee Titans (Thanos)

The former Houston Oilers adopted the Titans name because it showed strength and resilience while giving a nod to Nashville architecture. Thanos is the Mad Titan who alternates between being a cold-hearted killer to please his mistress, Death, and the delusional, pragmatic one who thinks eliminating half of all life in a snap is a good idea. Not sure why people would be confused by this.

28. Los Angeles Rams (Sulley)

There might be some deeper connection beyond Sulley’s horns somewhat matching the Rams variation, like how he is a committed performer of his craft much like the Rams are Super Bowl contenders who play under the bright lights of Hollywood or how the Monsters Inc. ride at Disney’s California Adventure is located at Hollywood Land. However, it seems to be just the horns.

27. Houston Texans (Jessie and Bullseye)

Setting aside the unsurprising misogynistic reaction some Houston fans are going through with their team being represented by a girl doll, Toy Story’s Jessie the cowgirl being pigeonholed as a Texan should also be examined. A better pick would have been [checks notes] the 2003 cult classic Holes starring a [checks notes again] pre-problematic Shia LaBeouf and Jon Voight. Yeah, they really had to go with Jessie, I guess.

26. Buffalo Bills (The Beast)

Tying The Beast from Beauty and the Beast to the Buffalo Bills sounds confusing at first and downright puzzling after thinking about it some more. However, the fine folks at Disney could also be making an inside joke by making a connection between the Beast and Belle to Bills quarterback Josh Allen and his wife Haliee Steinfeld, aka Kate Bishop from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, another Disney property. Or maybe it’s the whole curse thing.

25. Arizona Cardinals (Jafar and Iago)

Despite not being a cardinal, the mischievous Iago - a parrot - and the villainous Jafar from Aladdin get the nod to represent the oldest franchise in the league. The shared desert setting and color scheme are the likely connection between the two, but beyond Disney adults who have strong feelings for the bad guys, it’s not exactly an energizing partnership.

24. Miami Dolphins (King Triton)

If accuracy isn’t a dealbreaker, the Miami Dolphins easily could have replaced King Triton with specifically the live-action Maui from the Moana remake. As a shape-shifting demigod, Maui transforms into a shark and a whale in the movies, so a dolphin is not out of the question. This swap also has the added bonus of tying Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson into the collaboration, as Johnson played for the Miami Hurricanes during his college days and portrayed a former Miami Dolphin superstar in the HBO show Ballers. And when you look at his most recent box office returns, he could use some good publicity right now.

Could Be Better, Could Be Worse (aka Jeff Fisher Division)

23-21. Denver Broncos (Maximus), Indianapolis Colts (Horace Horsecollar), Los Angeles Chargers (Hercules and Pegasus)

Just like every Jeff Fisher team that finished 7-9, 8-8, or 9-7, which was nearly all of them, the B-Tier is loaded with teams that are just good enough to not get fired but will not be winning any awards at the end of the season. For better or worse, the herd that consists of the Broncos, Colts, and Chargers (?) is limited to the sidekicks of more popular Disney characters. Ironically, Bullseye, the workhorse of the collection by virtue of being featured on multiple teams but does not get solo billing, could have been the perfect horse for any of these teams.

20. Green Bay Packers (Chewbacca)

Younger Green Bay Packers fans might accept the Chewbacca connection at face value, but 90s cheeseheads might have someone else in mind when they think of Chewie, for better or worse. If being able to withstand the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field is a prerequisite for the Packers' character of choice, a funnier option would have been Elsa from Frozen or Frozone from The Incredibles. The colors would not match, but neither does Chewie.

19. Jacksonville Jaguars (Pepita)

Meanwhile, Jacksonville Jaguars fans are just hoping to be remembered as they latch onto the jaguar hybrid creature from Coco. While the Pixar instant classic is catching a second wind thanks to its prominent feature in the new Kingdom Hearts IV trailer, Pepita could be on the verge of becoming an upper-tier Disney sidekick.

18. Pittsburgh Steelers (Pete)

According to Disney’s product description, Mickey Mouse’s rival Pete is as blue-collar as the city of Pittsburgh. Not entirely sure how that tracks, as all Pete does is troll and bully Mickey incessantly while making moves on Minnie Mouse, but maybe Disney went with Pete because he’s a polarizing figure. That type seems to be permeating from Pittsburgh lately, even if they don’t really say anything interesting enough to be polarizing.

17. New York Giants (Wreck-It-Ralph)

Wreck-It-Ralph is one of Disney’s most recent giants, but does he fit the bill to be one of New York’s Giants? He does have a habit of actually wrecking things with reckless abandon, kind of like running back Cam Skattebo, and his playing style does lead people to wonder about his decision-making, which is not a dissimilar critique of quarterback Jaxson Dart. Time will tell if Skattebo and Dart have enough shelf life to warrant a sequel.

16. Philadelphia Eagles (Doctor Doom)

With Avengers: Doomsday on the horizon, Disney had no choice but to promote Doctor Doom in the highest of high profile collaborations by any means necessary. So what do the Philadelphia Eagles and Doctor Doom have in common besides a similar color scheme? Besides looking cool, absolutely nothing.

The Contenders (aka Too Obvious/Execution Falls Just Short Division)

15-13. Carolina Panthers (Bagheera), Cincinnati Bengals (Shere Khan), New Orleans Saints (Louis)

Unlike Iago and the Arizona Cardinals, the gator of New Orleans and the big cats of Carolina and Cincinnati match up perfectly with their cities. The only critique that can be laid upon these pairings is that the characters are not particularly popular in comparison to the other heavy hitters in this tier and above.

12. San Francisco 49ers (Stinky Pete)

As a San Francisco 49ers fan, I understand the decision to go with Stinky Pete, one of the heels of Toy Story 2. The wily old prospector was in search of gold, just like the real-life prospectors who arrived from all around the world in search of gold in Northern California in 1849. However, Pete is far from the most interesting villain in the Toy Story franchise, nor does he pop the crowd the same way a Zurg or Lotso does in other entries. One of the NFL’s iconic clubs needed a hero like Iron Man, who happens to share colors as the 49ers, or Baymax, whose movie took place in a future amalgamation of San Francisco and Tokyo.

11-10. Kansas City Chiefs (Big Bad Wolf), New England Patriots (Captain America)

The New England Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs are two of the NFL’s most successful clubs in this century, so it was fitting that they got premium treatment when it came to their character selection. Picking Steve Rogers, the biggest patriot of them all, was a no-brainer for New England, while the Kansas City Chiefs mascot KC Wolf had a perfect analog with the Big Bad Wolf. However, with Marvel and classic Disney already represented elsewhere, this would have been a perfect time for the House of Mouse to introduce another famous franchise that they own, the Muppets. Sam Eagle for the Patriots would have unlocked layers of comedy, and the Swedish Chef for the Chiefs had the potential to be an all-time callback to one of the greatest commercials ever.

9. Baltimore Ravens (Maleficent and her Raven)

What separates Maleficent and her trusted Raven from the other villain and bird sidekick in these rankings is that the Ravens have always had an image of being one of the more menacing teams in the league since the turn of the century. A big part of that reputation was their legendary defense through the 2000s, which was led by Hall of Famers Ray Lewis and Ed Reed, so Maleficent would have fit right in as a defensive coordinator.

8. Chicago Bears (Baloo)

Baloo is a spirited choice for the Chicago Bears, and anecdotally, was one of the first shirts to sell out. But hear me out. What if it were Winnie the Pooh? It might run into the same problem that Texans fans have with Jessie, but the comedy of seeing the silly bear rocking Bears gear might be too funny to pass up.

Going To Disneyland (aka All-Time Classics Division)

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Captain Hook)

Baker Mayfield might as well cosplay as Captain Hook for Halloween because the synergy of Peter Pan’s frenemy is strong. It would not be shocking at all to see Hook and his crew pop up on the Buccaneers pirate ship sometime during the regular season to help hype up the crowd and shamelessly plug a restock of the collection. If only there were a way to integrate Tick-Tock, the gator that relentlessly haunts Hook wherever he goes, into the collab as well.

6. Washington Commanders (Hamm)

Hamm is a clever acknowledgment of the Commanders’ past without diving into the controversial parts of the franchise’s lore. Other famous pigs from Disney’s vast library of IP include the Three Little Pigs, Miss Piggy from the Muppets, Piglet from Winnie the Pooh, and Pua from Moana. I’m partial to Pumbaa from The Lion King, considering how miserable the franchise was during the Dan Snyder era, but I can understand if they would want to move away from the stench of that time.

5. Dallas Cowboys (Woody)

As bad a pick as Buzz Lightyear was to represent the Jets, Woody is the perfect avatar for the Dallas Cowboys. Besides the obvious Cowboy imagery - bonus points for integrating Bullseye - Woody embodies unbridled positivity even as reality stares them right in the face. It’s a trait that Cowboys fans need to have in order to withstand 30 years of underachieving.

4. Minnesota Vikings (Thor)

Just like Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man were considered the Big 3 of the MCU in the Infinity Saga, there is also a Big 3 of this Disney and NFL collaboration. Considering Thor is the most well-known Norse God and America recently hosted a Norwegian football superstar during the World Cup who some have jokingly called a modern-day Thor, pairing up Marvel’s take on the mythical character had no challenger.

3. Detroit Lions (Simba)

Save for the mismatched color palette, the Detroit Lions and The Lion King were probably one of the easiest pairings conceived during the planning phase. And if the improbable were to happen and the Lions won the Super Bowl, the Disney parade at one of the parks with the MVP is absolutely going to have to dust off an animatronic Simba if it’s not already in rotation.

2. Las Vegas Raiders (Darth Vader)

When owner Mark Davis gave Allegiant Stadium the Death Star nickname back in 2020, that made the project team’s job about as easy as giving Simba to Detroit. Some fans bemoan the nickname because the Death Star does get blown to pieces a handful of times during the Skywalker saga, but it’s certainly better than Starkiller, a bigger and theoretically more powerful Death Star that barely gets mentioned anymore because it was destroyed in The Force Awakens. And when people see a shirt that features the galaxy’s most beloved space authoritarian who helped build the Death Star and the Raiders logo right below it, no one’s getting to question it. Some things were just made for each other.

Canton Bound (aka Champion’s Division)

1. Seattle Seahawks (Finding Nemo Seagulls)

The most inspired choice on this list, nothing even comes close. Am I trolling on behalf of my 49ers fandom? Perhaps, but I did order a shirt for a friend who doesn’t like the collab as a birthday gift.

Juan Martinez

From video game journalism to veteran of the sneaker blog era to podcasting about well, everything, Juan is smiling through it all and can't believe this is his life. After recently getting into Formula 1, he now has hot takes about who the greatest driver of all time is. Email: juan@soleretriever.com