EDM Festival Tomorrowland is Dropping Sneakers for Some Reason

Before I heard about this atrocious new shoe being released by the EDM festival Tomorrowland, the term WR1 only meant one thing to me: the top dog big kahuna of my receiving corps in fantasy football. Now, if you hear someone say, “I need a new WR1,” one can’t just assume they drafted Patriots receiver AJ Brown, who went down with an ankle injury in his season debut last night. No, you have to consider, a) does the person in front of me have rhinestone wings around their eyes, or b) is the person wearing what appears to be a space bikini made of mosaic mirrored glass? If the answer to either or both of those questions is yes, go ahead and save that waiver wire recommendation and brace yourself for what I’m about to tell you.

The popular electronic dance music festival Tomorrowland is, indeed, releasing its very own sneaker silhouette. Not a collab with an established brand, their own whole shoe. No, I don’t know who told them this was a good idea, but my guess is that the “who” isn’t human and gave the idea as the 12th bullet point in a long-winded ‘Path to World Domination’ plan for a music festival that also stocks its “Lifestyle” store with bathrobes, skincare products, and a bicycle that costs over $6,400.

There isn’t much info out there about the actual sneaker, but there is a shit load of buzzwords and cliché motivational phrasing surrounding it if you’re into that sort of thing. “Shaped in nature, born in rhythm. Inspired by the intelligence of natural forms. …The delicate structure of a dragonfly’s wing… the organic traces left by mushrooms… A fluid silhouette made for those who move instinctively. Through the city, into the night, and wherever the moment takes them.”

Unless that moment is the actual Tomorrowland music festival, because when I was perusing the product specifications of the shoe, the care instructions warn that you shouldn’t put them in direct sunlight. Hope you got the VIP pass with exclusive shaded tent access! Also, what the hell is “imitation microfiber”? Is actual microfiber expensive or difficult to secure? They also recommend applying dirt-repellent waterproofing spray to the shoes to protect from the elements. Wouldn’t you think a sneaker released by a music festival for the purpose of wearing to a music festival would be built to survive the very specific elements of a music festival? Maybe a GORE-TEX upper or Vibram sole?

That brings me to the most egregious detail of these awful additions to both sneaker and music cultures: the backs. I’ve been to countless concerts and music festivals in my day, and I can attest that one of the most common occurrences when fans are packed tightly in a big crowd is people stepping on the backs of your shoes. Happens all the time. Sure, it’s annoying but what are you going to do, you know? Well, I’ll tell you the one thing I wouldn’t do is make the back of the shoe protrude out even further, ensuring it’s ten times more likely you get flat-tire’d constantly while at the festival.

Aside from everything stated above, they’re ugly and just a lazy amalgamation of every mesh runner we’ve seen over the last few years. If I saw them hanging on a shelf at Walmart, I wouldn’t think twice, just generic “imitation microfiber” slop meant to milk EDM kids of every last dollar in between lineup reveals.

I know we all complain about the onslaught of retros in the sneaker world, but if these are the sneakers of tomorrow, please take me back.

Tomorrowland WR1 Release Details

The WR1s drop September 14 on Tomorrowland’s unintentionally hilarious online shop in seven different colorways if you’re interested and have 130 Euros to light on fire.

Drew London

Drew oversees content at Sole Retriever and hates writing in the 3rd person soooo I'm going to stop. Ran The Hundreds Blog in LA for a long time before moving back east to make cool commercials and funny tweets at [insert big agency]. Now I'm doing what I really love: talking sneakers, streetwear, and everything in between. Email me at drew@soleretriever.com with scoops and size 13 heat.